I'm just going to ramble today. Today is Christmas 2011. It is the 7th Christmas I have spent with my wonderful husband. Two days ago we celebrated with his family as we always do. This was the first year that we have not spent Christmas with my family. And oddly enough, I am VERY ok with that. I am finally at peace with knowing things will never be ok between my father and me. I do miss my son but we talk a lot. One day he will know the truth. Until then, I will just be here for him.
Twelve years ago I spent the very last Christmas that I ever would with my mom. She was here with us this year though. I could feel her spirit around me. I know that she would not want me to be sad so this year I'm not but I am kinda mad at her for leaving me. I still just don't understand but know there was a reason. I'm pretty sure that she would be proud of me. She would have adored her grandbabies. She would have loved Wade.
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