My heart is heavy

One of the most beautiful women I know is lying on a couch at my aunt's house nearing the end of her life.  My grandmother, that I love so dearly, is so very sick.  She has several tumors in her frail little body.  She has lost so much weight and is now down to 98 lbs.  My heart hurts so bad every time I think of her suffering, nevermind how much it hurts when we go visit her.

Gran has been through a lot in her 79 years.  Just within the past 14 years she has lost her husband, a grandson, and two daughters.  She has been so strong through it all. 

Gran, Lexi, and me Thanksgiving 2011
3 Generations (minus my mom)

A lot of my fondest childhood memories include being at Gran's house.  There were several times that I packed my little pail and headed off walking to Gran and Papa's house.  I never made it far before mom caught up with me.  I do believe that we went to their house just about every weekend.  Family was everything.  Still is, but I'm guilty of letting life get in the way.

No matter what I did, I could always count on Gran to be there for me.  I recall several times getting in trouble with Mom or Dad and Gran would say, "Don't you whoop that baby", regardless of how old I was.  I miss that.  I miss everything about life back then.  Even summers were spent at their house. 

I'm going to miss going to her house.  She and I would sit and look through her photo albums even if it was one we had looked at the time before.  She didn't take pictures but she and I share a love of photography.  I am so much like her.  She understands me like no one else.  I know that Papa, Mom, Aunt Dar, and Jerry are all waiting on her, along with her parents and other family.  She will be so missed here though.

From Left to right, top to bottom: Gran and Dad; Gran and me; Gran and me;
Gran, me, and Jerry; Papa, Jerry, Gran, and me; Papa, Lori, Mom, me, and Gran